Here's a sexual stat guaranteed to kill your libido: Ideally, women want intercourse to last 23 minutes, according to a new Journal of Sexual Medicine study. Before you freak—can anyone last that long?—consider this: It's not necessarily the minutes that matter—it's intimacy she's after.
Which means, done properly, a quickie can be just as satisfying as a 23-minute romp. Maybe even more satisfying. "Sometimes, women who wouldn't otherwise be orgasmic are able to have an orgasm, because there's a lot of arousal and excitement," says sex therapist Lisa Thomas, founder of OnlineCouch.com. "It's an adrenaline rush to try to pull off a quickie."
Carefully choose your location.
Often, the thrill of a quickie comes from the fear of being caught more than the actual intercourse. So consider your hook-up spot with care. "Ideal locations bring an element of spontaneity—places where you typically wouldn't do it," says Lieser. Think the office, your backyard, a park, a bathroom stall, a stairwell—or "any other place that may border on risk, without real danger," says Joel Block, Ph.D., a Long Island-based sex therapist and author of The Art of a Quickie.
Of course, if your partner is freaked out—not turned on—by the idea of a stranger catching a glimpse, you can just as easily execute a quickie in your own home. But make sure to choose a spot with extra arousal boosters: "Pick a place where there are turn-ons that wouldn't be in your typical location," says Lieser. "Maybe a bathroom where there are mirrors, or the shower where there's water to help with lubrication."
Focus on her.
With intercourse, you're pretty much guaranteed an orgasm—whether it lasts 2 minutes or 20. "You know the old cliché: Women need foreplay, and men just need a place," says Block. "The focus is best centered on her so that she is sufficiently aroused before penetration." So if you have 5 minutes, spend 2 or 3 stimulating her in whatever way she prefers, says Lieser, and make sure she's sufficiently wet before entering her. "Women can be very aroused but dry," says Thomas. If that's the case, give her vagina one quick lick to lubricate her with your saliva.
Stay partially clothed.
If you have time to undress completely, you probably have time for a full-length feature. There goes the urgency that makes a quickie so arousing. So only unzip your pants, lift her skirt, whatever—just keep yourselves partially clothed, says Thomas. That helps reinforce the idea that you might get caught—and need to be able to make a quick getaway.
Set the tone with your position.
If your partner wants a passionate quickie, standing sex—face to face, against a wall, her legs wrapped around your waist—is probably your best bet. (If that's too difficult, you can prop her butt up on a piece of furniture.) It also gives you easy access to her lips. "Kissing equates to intimacy," says Thomas. "Cup her face in your hand, and make good, solid eye contact at least one time."
But if it's naughtiness she craves, rear-entry sex is ideal. "It's animalistic," says Thomas. And as Lieser points out, "men can sometimes go faster in that position. It's kind of a place of authority for them. That can be arousing." (Plus, it's easy to pull off in a tight space.) If she likes the idea of such a primal position, she may want to leave smooching out of it. "What may be hot to her in a quickie is not kissing, being a little bit objectified," says Lieser. "The position will tell you what she needs."
Engage her senses.
You only have 5 minutes of actual physical contact—which means you need to excite as many of her senses as possible in order to achieve intensity, fast. So taste her, touch her all over—her breasts, her back, her face—and incorporate aural arousal into the experience. "Communicate that the reason you're having a quickie is because your desire for her is so intense—not, because, 'Damn, I have a need. Let's squeeze it in,'" says Lieser. And verbally affirm her with simple phrases like "You're so amazing" or "I can't believe I get to do this with you." Easy, right?
[H/T: Menshealth]
