Sexuality is a fundamental part of the human condition, and has been practiced as a union of individuals' minds, bodies, and spirits for thousands of years across cultures and religions. The approach to this beautiful and empowering connection has always had variations and nuances but the vital sense of openness around sexuality and intimacy became caged, regardless of the remarkable benefits in physical and mental health when practiced openly.
Judgment. Shame. Guilt. Expectation. Disgust. Rejection. Misunderstanding.
Sexual taboos are widely varied and provoke various degrees of mental, emotional, physical and spiritual reactions differing for each and every individual. Our individuality in upbringing, experience, support, and culture make it vitally important to learn how to identify your own personal taboos in order to open up clear and supportive communication.
If you are currently unable to communicate to yourself or others about how and what you feel about sex, your taboos, or simply the subjects surrounding sex, chances are that the obstacles to your expression are affecting other areas of your life as well. Have no fear, you too can experience the joy of deepening your communication skills and sense of intimacy and satisfaction both in and outside of the bedroom.
I encourage you to take a moment by yourself to connect, feel your breath, and ask yourself what your personal sexual taboos are. Whether your taboos include some common ones like talking about sexual health and histories, anal sex, kegel practice, multiple partners, or communicating whether something feels pleasant or painful, I urge you to ask yourself if your taboos are creating healthy boundaries or unsafe walls in your relationships and life.
Try these steps to face your taboos in a way that opens up your sense of sexual intimacy and your sense of satisfaction and connection to everyday living and relationships:
1. Look at how you balance your sexuality and sexual intimacy with the other forms of intimacy. Ask yourself which forms you identify with the most, what makes you thrive or suffer, and what is stimulating to you:
a. Situational intimacy is connecting with people throughout your day, at work, in social settings.
b. Emotional intimacy is being in touch with your emotions and having individuals in your life thatyou can share openly with.
c. Sensual intimacy is connecting with your senses regularly.
d. Intellectual intimacy is having intellectually stimulating conversations and situations.
2.Practice feeling empowered in your own skin and really listening to what your body is telling you and try expressing these things to your partner with "I" statements.
3. If you can't speak it out loud, try writing down what you feel or would like to try. Explore it with your partner with patience, ease, and an understanding that it may or may not be possible for them to explore it with you.
4. Establish a common "safe word" to ensure that no matter what you explore, no matter how safe orrisqué, there is always a sense of safety and control over your experiences.
5. Relax and have fun!
via http://www.coloradoan.com
