Makerere Professor Vows to Abstain From Masturbation, Sex if Museveni Wins Election

Dr. Stella Nyanzi, a research fellow at Makerere Institute of Social Research (MISR) has confessed that she will abstain from sex and masturbation if Museveni wins presidential elections.

Makerere Professor Vows to Abstain From Masturbation, Sex if Museveni Wins Election
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Dr. Stella Nyanzi, a research fellow at Makerere Institute of Social Research (MISR) has confessed that she will abstain from sex and masturbation if Museveni wins presidential elections.

In a Facebook post yesterday, she promised to get a man with healthy sperm who will bonk her if Besigye wins elections.

Below is what she posted on FacebookDr. Stella said she will give birth to baby who she will name “TwesigaBesigye2016.”

“I am so desperate for change in our nation’s government that when Kiiza Besigye wins the presidential elections, I will conceive a baby and name it after him. Since I am turning forty-two years later this year, I doubt I will still be reproductive when the next elections come by in 2021. So: to celebrate Besigye’s win that will oust Museveni next month, I swear, I will look for a mate with healthy sperm, and conceive my last borne child called Baby TwesigaBesigye2016. This child will symbolise a new lease on life.

 

But should our land remain under the thirty-year curse and Yoweri Museveni wins the presidential elections, I will abstain from sex and masturbation until he goes off the presidency. I will take wet clay and plug my birth canal. I will firmly close up the gates to my womanly pleasure spots with concrete cement and seal them off with Super Glue. I will mourn; smearing ashes on myself as if I am in costume for a drama based on one of those biblical books from the Old Testament. I will sew myself seven loose panties made of bark cloth for burying the dead and wear one each day of the week until Museveni leaves power.”

Credit:Redpepper

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